Linked
by Totally-Yatal
Summary: Max and Fang have always been linked in a strange way, but know they know how: Through music. It's a song-fic of course! I finally started writing it!
1. Preface: Within Me

**_(I'M FINALLY DOING IT!! It's a song-fic! YAY!)_**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride. Jimmy Patz does!!**

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**SUMMARY:**

Max leaves the flock and doesn't intend on ever going back. Ten years later Max is in Liverpool, England and alone. She got a job of a waitress/singer/hooker. She becomes very involved with drugs. (she takes anti-depressants and sleeping pills and a bunch of other ones) But when she finally starts singing she realizes the way that she is linked to Fang: Through music. When she discovers this, she starts turning her life around. But will it be enough to keep her from what she was promised to do?

**_(This one is pretty dark!! Just a little warning!)_**

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-

**Preface**

**(I haven't written songs is years! Like, one! But this fits)**

_Change the past_

_from what I used to know._

_Everything that I cared about is gone._

_Gone..._

-Change the Past, _An original song by me! _

**Within Me (Lacuna Coil)**

-

-

Fang walked alone on the nearly frozen beach. Ten years. Ten long years. He didn't think that he would have made it this long without her. But he did. Maybe it's because he knew she was alive.

He switched his I-POD to his favorite play-list and one of the songs started to play. He looked around, the rest of the flock was still asleep. So he quietly started to sing along.

_Something about you that makes me feel bad  
I wasn't there when a thin line destroyed your soul._

I looked around. Where was the music coming from? That song was on _his _I-POD, on his favorite play-list. I didn't think I had that song. I looked over to my I-POD and saw that it was off. So where was it all coming from? I didn't know what to do. With no warning I suddenly knew what the next few lyrics where. So I answered to the song.

_I search every corner  
There's nowhere to hide  
How I feel ignorance  
Sacrifice, __some days it's harder  
Let's face it, it's all about me  
Deeply into your own_

_Deep within me  
Life's crawling and wasting my days  
Another night gone and I know there will be another way  
I'm leading myself to be free  
In this eternal goodbye_

He looked around, did he have his I-POD to loud? No. It was almost all the way down. Fang thought he reconized the voice. _Hers._ So he continued.

_Something about you will make me stronger  
Now I'm aware when a man falls rebound, my fault _

There it was agian. Where was it coming from?

_I search every corner  
Just nowhere to hide  
How I feel ignorance  
Sacrifice some days it's harder  
Let's face it, it's all about me  
Deeply into your own_

_Deep within me  
Life's crawling and wasting my days  
Another night gone and I know there will be another way  
I'm leading myself to be free  
In this eternal goodbye_

_Here I wanna be  
No more lies!_

_Deep within me  
Life's crawling and wasting my days  
Another night gone and I know there will be another way  
I'm leading myself to be free  
In this eternal goodbye.._

Fang knew that voice.


	2. Chapter 1: My Hero

**My Hero (cover by, Paramore)**

-

-

I sat up in my bed and looked at the clock. _9:31_ the light green glow read. Hey, I didn't wake up late again. That's another first. I picked up my I-POD and went into the kitchen.

I switched to Paramore (an awesome band) and clicked on one of the songs, while getting a cup of coffee. _My Hero. _That song always reminded me of him whenever I listened to it. He was my hero, even if I never showed it or would admit it to anyone. Right now, it was the best song that I would ever listen to.

_Too alarming now to talk about  
Take your pictures down and shake it out_

I poured my coffee in the cup and walked over to his picture. It was my favorite. I took the picture of him so unexpectedly, that the look on his face was priceless. I gave a small smile

_Truth or consequence, say it aloud  
Use that evidence, race it around_

I knew what my consequence was for this. A life of never ending depression.

_There goes my hero  
Watch him as he goes  
There goes my hero  
He's ordinary_

A bunch of memories started to play in my head. Him smiling at me, making my heart miss a beat. Nudge and Angel playing rock paper scissors, Angel winning of course. Iggy and the Gassman putting together some type of bomb. Total licking Fang's face, and him looking like "ew".

_Don't the best of them bleed it out  
While the rest of them peter out  
Truth or consequence, say it aloud  
Use that evidence, race it around_

Fang kissing me, the night before I left. Angel mind controlling a police woman so that we wouldn't get s ticket. Me ruffling the Gassman's hair. Iggy laughing at Nudge when a brush broke in her wild mane of hair.

_There goes my hero  
Watch him as he goes  
There goes my hero  
He's ordinary_

_Kudos my hero leaving all the best  
You know my hero, the one that's on_

Then all of them where suddenly focused on Fang. Fang flying. Fang smiling. Fang laughing. Fang kissing me, softly but passionately, telling me that he loved me, and nothing could stop him from loving me.

_There goes my hero  
Watch him as he goes  
There goes my hero  
He's ordinary_

_There goes my hero  
Watch him as he goes  
There goes my hero  
He's ordinary_

I wiped away the tears from my face after the song finished. That song always made me cry, no matter where I was. That's why I avoided listening to it in public.

I headed over to the bathroom and opened my drawer and pulled out a little orange bottle. _Just one. _I thought. _That's all I need to put me through this day. _A dropped one of the pills onto my hand and swallowed it without water. Good.

I suddenly felt lighter. Like I was going to start seeing things. Not like L.C.D seeing things, but in a good way. A way that told me I was temporarily relieved from my depression.

The phone rang and I rushed over to it. "Hello?" I asked, perfectly immatating a Brittish accent.

"Hi, Jackie, your up!" Allison's high-pitched voice said happily. "How are you?"

"Better." I admitted. _For now. _I thought, but didn't say it. That would upset her.

"Good! I was wondering if you mind coming shopping with me? Before you go to work of course." She added happily.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't get around Allison and her shoping. It would be a gift from the gods if anyone could.

"Alright." I answered sighing again.

She squealed. "Excellent! I'll come to get in about an hour! You better be ready."

"I will."

"Okay, bye!" She said hanging up. She never gave me chance to hang up.

I sighed again and started to get ready. I really didn't want to make her impatient, no one did.

I started to think about the dream again. God, he was so grown up! I couldn't believe that was actually him! Well...in my dream. If he looked anything like that now then I would flip. But he never really posted on his blog. The last time he posted was six months ago. Meaning that Nudge had taken over with shopping and such. She and Allison would get along quiet well.

I dried my hair and looked into the mirror. As always, I saw the face I didn't want to see: mine. I wondered why it never changed. It was always the same, tired and miserable. I wanted to change. I didn't want to be what I always saw. Something had to be different. I had to do something. But I couldn't. Not now. I knew the only thing that would change me was my flock, and I could never go back. And they couldn't want to bring me back after I left them without telling. They must have been furious.

I needed to change. But I could not go back.


	3. Chapter 2: Breath No More

_**(Just saying that I'm basing Allison on Alice from Twilight. I didn't realize how close the names are until now. Geez, I'm sure observant.**_)

-

**Breath No More (Evanescence)  
**

-

-

"Do you really need to go to work? You can call in sick and we can go shopping longer!" Allison whined, trying to pull me out of the driver's seat. In England, the driver's seat is on the left, so don't make the same mistake I did a few years ago. Make sure you know which lane your driving in, that's all I'm saying.

I bit my lip. "Allison, you already have enough new clothes to last you for a year. I think you can hold off shopping for one day." I said closing the door. I watched her cross her arms and get a pout look on her face and couldn't help but smile. She always looked so much like Angel when she did that. She stomped over to the passenger seat and slammed the door.

"Fine." She mumbled. "But you owe me. You owe me four days worth of shopping." Ugh. Four days. Did I really stop shopping trips that quickly? But _four days?_ Like I could stand that.

--

It didn't take too long to get to the bar I worked at. I know, "Maximum Ride? Working at a bar? You have to be kidding me!" And no, I'm not kidding. And as of four years ago, I became Jackie Wright. That is my legal name in England, and I'll do what I'm good at. This.

I threw my coat on the coat rack and walked into the back.

"Jackie! You made it! Feeling better yet?" My boss greeted me. He was the one that gave me this job ten years ago when I first came to England.

"A bit." I lied. The drug was starting to wear off, and I was starting to sink back into my deep, dark hole of depression.

"Good to hear. Your uniform was cleaned last night, it's in the back." He told me, gesturing to the back.

"Thanks Joel." I said, smiling weakly.

I went into the back and picked up a too-small white shirt and a black mini-skirt. Yes, I'm not lying, that was my actual uniform. I know, it was completely slutty...but that might have been one of the reasons for part of my job.

I popped another anti-depression pill in my mouth and looked at the clock. _5:25. _I had about a half hour until my job really kicked in. Once it was dark outside, people started pouring in. Then everything was busy.

I was a waitress/singer at the bar. I was only used for background music so that the clients weren't bored when the drank and hung out with friends. Who needs music when you hang out with friends? Not me. Not my flock. And as long as Allison had a credit card in her hand she was fine. So what was my need?

"Jackie! They're all coming in! Hurry up!" Joel called. I rushed out and stared wide eyed at how many people where already there. "You're up first! Get on that piano!"

I snaked my way through the crowd to the stage and sat down at the piano. I knew exactly which song I was going to play: Breath no more.

-0-0-0-

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long_

Fang's eyes snapped open. It was that music again. Where was I coming from?

_  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side_

Fang stood up and walked outside. Like always, no one was there. He couldn't see anyone, but he could hear it so clearly that it was like the person singing it was standing right next to him with the piano.

_All the little pieces falling, shatter  
Shards of me  
Too sharp to put back together  
Too small to matter  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces  
If I try to touch her_

Fang knew exactly what those lyrics meant. That was how he had felt every day. He remembered what it was like to touch her. But she was such a faded memory now. He feared that within another year she would only be a fog, and he wouldn't even be able to feel her skin anymore, or her taste.

_And I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe no more_

He felt like he couldn't breath without her by his side. He couldn't feel. He'd broken two bones in the past three years and both of them had only felt like Angel punching him when she was four. It felt like nothing.

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child_

_Lie to me  
Convince me that I've been sick forever_

He wished that he was just sick. He wished that this was just a long dream, and he would wake up soon and have her over him, the same as she was ten years ago. Running her fingers through his hair, or maybe even slapping him. Either way, he would rather this a long nightmare.

_  
And all of this  
Will make sense when I get better  
But I know the difference  
Between myself and my reflection  
I just can't help but to wonder  
Which of us do you love?_

He wondered if she did love him. He hoped she did. He stayed alive this long, keeping a possibly imaginable thought that she loved him. That was the only thing that kept him going.

_So I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
_

_I breathe no  
Bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe no more _

Once the song ended Fang jumped up into the air. He didn't care that he was leaving the flock, he just had to find her.

-0-0-0-


	4. Chapter 3: Hide and Seek

**_(I got a very good question that some one asked "Where is Fang? Is he in England?" The answer is no, he's not in England. I was thinking something like Massachusetts or Maine. He and the flock got an apartment or a condo, I didn't quite decide. Sorry for the lack of information, and thanks for asking the question PeruvianChick!)_**

_**(For me, the sluttyness is part of Max's transformation. You might not like it now, but she trys when she figures out something (but I'm not telling because it would be a huge spoiler!), just saying. It also reminds me of Moulin Rouge if you think about it. I love that movie)**_

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**Hide and Seek (Imogen Heap)**

-

-

I walked off the stage, only to be grabbed by a half-drunk man. _Lyle. _

"Hey love." He said, breathing his bear-coated breath on my face. Ugh. Oh god I hated bear.

"What Lyle?" I asked, thrusting my arm from his grip.

"Oh, you're feisty tonight? I like it when your feisty." He said grinning.

"Not now." I said, starting to walk away, but he grabbed me again.

"Yes now. I'm in the mood _now." _He said pulling me close to him. I struggled out of his grip.

"Find someone else tonight." I said, trying to walk away.

He grinned again. "But you know your the only one for me baby." He said. Ugh, I hated this guy! And no, we were not dating. He was one of my "clients".

"Later." I growled.

"No, now." He pulled me away from the crowd and up the stairs of the bar. I couldn't fight him off of me. It would be pointless if I did anyway. He would always win the fight, even if I could kick his butt to next year.

Lyle pushed me into the room and locked the door behind him.

"Get ready." He commanded me, suddenly serious. I took off my necklace that my mom had given me ten years ago after I came back from Antarctica and placed it on the desk. That what I looked at when I needed comforting. I took my hair down from my pony-tail and started to quietly sing to myself.

_Where are we?  
What the hell is going on?_

What the hell was I doing here? I didn't need to do this. I was Maximum Ride! I was supposed to be setting an example to everyone, not showing the world what they shouldn't do in their lives!

_  
The dust has only just begun to form  
Crop circles in the carpet  
Sinking feeling_

I knew that sinking feeling. I felt it whenever I was doing this. I hated this. I needed to stop!

_Spin me round again  
And rub my eyes,  
This can't be happening_

He came out from the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my waist. He started kissing my throat, up my jaw, and to the corner of my mouth. It made me hate him even more then I already did. I didn't move.

_  
When busy streets a mess with people  
Would stop to hold their heads - heavy_

I felt like it was moving all too fast. Not just here, but everywhere. I felt like I was at normal speed while the rest of the world was in fast forward.

_Hide and seek  
Trains and sewing machines  
All those years  
They were here first_

They where with him. All of my best years where with my flock_  
_

_Oily marks appear _

_On walls _

_Where pleasure moments hung before the takeover  
_

_The sweeping insensitivity of this still life_

He threw me onto the bed and I prevented myself from kissing him. I struggled to get away but it didn't seem to bother him.

_hide and seek  
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)  
blood and tears (hearts)  
they were here first_

They where with them. My family. I struggled as he pulled me closer to him.

_Mmmm whacha say,  
Mmmm that you only meant well?  
well of course you did  
_

He didn't mean well. He never would. All he wanted was this. And he would never get it.

_Mmmm whacha say,  
Mmmm that its all for the best?  
Because it is  
_

It's not for the best. This is not what I needed

_Mmmm whacha say?  
Mmmm that it's just what we need  
you decided this  
whacha say?  
Mmmm what did she say?_

On that note I put my finger on his pressure point and watched him slow. He breathing started to slow down.

_ransom notes keep falling out your mouth  
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs  
speak no feeling no i don't believe you  
_

I would never believe a word he said. Nothing he could say would make me feel like he should have it.

_you don't care a bit,  
you don't care a bit_

No, he didn't care. Not at all I hoped he died_._

_(hide and seek)  
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth  
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs_

I took my finger off his neck and listened for his heart beat. He was still alive. That's all I needed to know.

_(hide and seek)  
speak no feeling no i don't believe you  
you don't care a bit,  
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit_

(_hide and seek)  
oh no, you don't care a bit  
oh no, you don't care a bit_

Lyle didn't care at all. But I knew Fang would if he found out what I was doing.

_(hide and seek)  
oh no, you don't care a bit  
you don't care a bit  
you don't care a bit _

I put my shirt back on and necklace around my throat. I found the key that he "hid" from me whenever he brought me up the stairs and I put it in the lock.

I walked down the stairs and threw the keys at Joel.

"I'm done for the day." I muttered.


	5. Chapter 4: Honey Honey

**_(I meant to say something earlier. It was that this is supposed to be like a musical if you haven't guessed. So that's why there's singing! I can imagine this as a movie...it would be so cool! Ha, ha, just kidding)_**

**_(And I don't like coffee! Max does! Max: Shut up, no I don't. Me: SHH!!)_**

-

**Honey, Honey (Abba)  
**-

-

I stirred my coffee and sat down in front of the t.v. It was a special news report, and I was just flipping through the channels while getting my morning coffee, so I stuck with the channel.

"The economy of the United States is starting to slide, so when are they going to clean themselves up? It's effecting the entire world while the perfect country crumbles. They can't run to their mummy's for money because their mummy's won't have any. When are they going to shape up?"

I sighed and picked up the remote. "I've seen enough of that." I murmured to myself right as a woman appeared on the screen and said, "In other new, a flying human was believed to be found in Massachusetts." I dropped the remote the right after I heard that.

"Here is the video that was sent in." She said when the camara switched to the video. "As you can see-" the vocie said, "it is far to large to be a bird, it couldn't even be an eagle. And birds don't wear converses." She said right as it switched back to her face.

I shut off the t.v once it switched to something unimportant. One of my flock had been caught on camara! Where was the rest of them? I hoped they weren't taken away by the School again.

My phone rang and I ran over to answer it. "Hello?" I asked in my Brittishly ways.

"Jackie?! Did you see the news report about the flying human?" Allison asked sounding amazed.

"No, I didn't catch that." I said, trying not to scream, "OH MY GOD YES!"

"It was amazing! The person had converses! I wanted those!" She said sounding dissapointed.

"Did they say anything else?" I asked, gripping the phone tighter.

"No, they only said that little thing." She said disappointed still.

I sighed. "Alright, Al, I have to go to work. I'll call you when I get back." I said grabbing my keys.

"Okay. Hey, was Lyle a pervert again last night?" She asked, trying to make me laugh.

"One hundred percent perverted." I answered laughing a little bit.

"Dang. Can I kill him yet?" She asked me.

"If you really want to..."

"YES! I'm taking two days off of you owing me shopping!" She said hanging up.

"Gald I could help?" I said once she we already gone.

I walked out into the street to my car and unlocked the door. I wished I could fly to work, but that would distroy my normalness, so I decided against it. I hadn't flown in such a long time, that I wouldn't be suprised if my wings snapped in half once I opened them again. I guess I had to settle for the car then.

I drove down and made it about an hour early. Another first in two days!

"You're early! What's the occasion? Did I forget my own birthday?" Joel asked sarcasticly with a smile on his face.

"No Joel." I said, hanging my coat up.

Joel hesitated. And I knew already what he was going to say. "How'd it go last night?"

"The usual." I mumbled.

He sighed.

I walked into the back and changed into my uniform. When he was sure I was done he walked into the room.

"Can you do a favor for me?" He asked.

I smiled. "Joel, you're my boss. Even if this wasn't a favor I would have to do it."

He smiled. "When you sing tonight, can you sing some...I don't know...more uppy songs?" He asked.

I looked at him, in a kind of "Say what?" fashion.

"Oh come one, you have to know at least one happy song." He said.

"I really don't know." I answered truthfully.

"Look, just sing one happyish song and I'll let you go back to your doom and glom tomorrow." He told me.

"Fine." I mumbled, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket. I knew exactly who could help me with this. Allison.

I waited, tapping my foot with impatientness. "What's just Jackie? Did you get fired? The bar isn't even-"

"I need your help." I interrupted her.

"Okay, what is it?" She asked me.

"I need a happy song to sing tonight." I told her. I think I heard her laugh in the background.

"You don't know any happy songs?" She asked, I heard her laugh again.

"Not really! The only happy songs I know are by Hannah Montana, and I wouldn't dare sing one of her songs."

Allison was quiet for a minute and I sat there, tapping my foot. "OH! I GOT IT!" She said after a while. "Sing Honey, Honey!" She told me.

I frowned. "I don't know that song." I said.

"Okay, I'll tell you it! Honey, honey, how he thrills-"

"Why don't you just send me the music." I interrupted her.

"Okay, good luck!"

--

I could not belive I was singing that song. Why did I have to be so stupid and agree? I pushed my way past the crowd to the stage and set down the music. I had been practicing it for two hours, trying to memorize it. I really hoped I had it down. I looked at my piano and wished I was sitting behind it, singing the song I had planned for tonight. But I guess I had to wait one night.

When the music started playing I took a deep breath and got ready to sing the most out of character song I had ever sang in my life.

_Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey  
Honey honey, nearly kills me, ah-hah, honey honey__  
__I'd heard about you before  
I wanted to know some more  
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine  
Oh, you make me dizzy_

_Honey honey, let me feel it, ah-hah, honey honey  
Honey honey, don't conceal it, ah-hah, honey honey  
The way that you kiss goodnight  
(The way that you kiss me goodnight)  
The way that you hold me tight  
(The way that you're holding me tight)  
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing_

_Honey honey, touch me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey  
Honey honey, hold me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey  
You look like a movie star  
(You look like a movie star)  
But I know just who you are  
(I know just who you are)  
And, honey, to say the least, you're a doggone beast_

_Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey  
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey  
I heard about you before  
I wanted to know some more  
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine_

Now that was weird.


	6. Chapter 5: Blurry

**Blurry (Puddle of Mudd)  
**-

-

Now that was a first that he had heard that voice ever say. It was so uppy and happy and stuff. For the fast six years he'd heard that voice and all of the songs that she sang were dark and sometimes depressing, like the songs that he would find on his I-POD. But that was the complete opposite of what he thought that he would ever hear.

The singer's vocie seemed to take him in the direction that Max was. He didn't know how but he felt like he could feel her, and the only problem was that she was over the Atlantic Ocean. He knew he couldn't fly over the entire Atlantic Ocean in one go, not unless he was completely determined...Which he was.

Fang rubbed his hands together as the frost of the late fall night bit his hands. The small fire he made wasn't doing much good for him, but a least the rest of the flock wasn't here. That might be a little bit pf a challenge with a sixteen year-old girl.

He flipped on his I-POD to take his mind off of the cold. _Blurry. _That was one of his favorite songs to listen to, it had always been. Espically now.

-0-0-0-

I took off my necklace. He managed to drag me up the stairs without me really noticing. I didn't notice until he said "Get ready." I couldn't believe how fast it had all moved.

Then a song started to play in my mind. I knew that song. That was on his I-POD. It was his favorite song to listen to. Well, it was his favorite song to listen to ten years ago. I didn't know what he would like now.

_Everything's so blurry  
and everyone's so fake  
and everybody's empty  
and everything is so messed up_

Everything was messed up. I couldn't see my flock again. My _life _was messed up. I was messed up.

_pre-occupied without you  
I cannot live at all  
My whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl_

I knew I had been his world, and I had taken his world away from him. It felt wrong, almost like murdering.

_You could be my someone  
you could be my scene  
you know that I'll protect you  
from all of the obscene__  
_

I knew he would have protected me from anything. Lyle would have been dead by know if Fang knew the slightest thing about this. Even if he was over seas.

_I wonder what you're doing  
imagine where you are  
there's oceans in between us  
but that's not very far_

It was far though. Far enough to keep me away from them.

_Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it in my face  
this pain you gave to me  
Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it my face_

I did do this to them didn't I? It was all my fault.

_Everyone is changing  
there's no one left that's real  
_

I wasn't real anymore. I wasn't myself. It was like I was a really bad emo version of myself. (but I wasn't emo. I didn't cut myself, I swear!)

_to make up your own ending  
and let me know just how you feel  
cause I am lost without you  
I cannot live at all  
my whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl_

I could hardly live either. I could hardly breathe.

_You could be my someone  
you could be my scene  
you know that i will save you  
from all of the unclean  
_

Lyle threw me onto the bed and I kicked his stomach. He pinned me down. I knew what would happen if he was here.

_I wonder what you're doing  
I wonder where you are  
There's oceans in between us  
but that's not very far_

Too far.

_Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it in my face  
this pain you gave to me  
_

He wasn't the only one I gave the pain to. I gave it to everyone I loved.

_Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it my face_

_Nobody told me what you thought  
nobody told me what to say  
everyone showed you where to turn  
told you when to runaway  
nobody told you where to hide  
_

I didn't want to hide who I really was anymore.

_nobody told you what to say  
everyone showed you where to turn  
showed you when to runaway_

I was tired of running

_Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it in my face  
this pain you gave to me  
Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it my face_

_This pain you gave to me_

_You take it all  
You take it all away...  
This pain you gave to me  
You take it all away  
This pain you gave to me  
Take it all away  
This pain you gave to me_

Lyle passed out unconscious again. I never really did it with him...maybe once. But I wanted him to die, but I didn't have the curage to do it myself.

I was trapped.


	7. Chapter 6: Lithium

**Lithium (Evanescence)**

-

-

I walked up to the perception table.

"Back again?" Jude asked me.

I gave him a weak smile.

"You getting the same as usual?" He asked me, heading towards the prescriptions.

"How'd you guess?" I asked sarcastically.

Jude handed me the perception. "You know, you get these things a lot. Maybe you should go see a psychiatrist or something. I know one who's office is just north of here if you want." He offered to me.

"Thanks, but I don't need one. I'm getting better." I lied through my teeth.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes." I answered. "I'll see you later."

"I'm sure I will..." He said, giving me a half smile.

I walked out of the story to my car and drove home as fast as I could. I knew it wouldn't be smart to take it while driving, so I avoided taking it. Once I got inside I dropped the keys on the counter and headed to the bathroom. I dropped one of the pills onto my hand and swallowed without water again.

I looked into the mirror and saw that face again. _The anti-Max. _I felt wrong. Not even the lithium could cure the hole in my heart. I had to stop putting myself through this. I needed to see them again, at least once more. That's all I needed to live. Tears started to form in my eyes and I wiped them away. I needed to hear that song again. It had to be him! I heard it last night for a fact and there was no music playing. It was only that voice.

I wanted him to know I heard him. I wanted him to know that I knew he still existed. That I still existed. And I knew how to tell him.

-0-0-0-0-0-

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow  
Oh, but God, I wanna let it go _

It was there again. That voice. _Her voice._

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone  
Couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show_

He was empty without her.

_Never wanted it to be so cold  
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me _

He knew he loved her. He always had. Hadn't she realized that?

_I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me_

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_

And he wanted to stay in love with her.

_Oh! Don't wanna let it lay me down this time  
Drown my will to fly  
Here in the darkness I know myself  
_

The darkness was all they knew.

_Can't break free until I let it go  
Let me go_

_Darling, I forgive you after all  
_

She forgave him? After what he did? Did she want to come back that badly?

_Anything is better than to be alone  
And in the end I guess I had to fall  
Always find my place among the ashes _

He had no place in this world. But she did. And she was out of it. She needed to take her place back, and he would gladly take hers in exchange or knowing that she was okay.

_I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me _

Nothing was wrong with her, but something was defiantly wrong with him.

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with you  
Oh, I'm gonna let it go _

It was then he realized that he needed her. Not in the since like he always has, but like a drug. He needed her to survive. He was addicted and it felt like part of him had been ripped away. He needed her back. Now and forever.

She was his lithium.

-0-0-0-0-

I could only pray that he had gotten my message. Throughout the entire song I had choaked back tears, and I let them spill out now. That song felt so true to me. I was locked up inside. I didn't want to be alone, but I knew I was. And I couldn't break free untill I let it go. Untill I let _them _go. Until I let him go.

I wanted to let it go.


	8. Chapter 7: Strawberry Feilds Forever

**_(Sorry it's been a while. I'm trying to finish Brisingr)_**

**_(This is suposed the morning that Fang left)_**

**_-_**

**Strawberry Fields (cover from Across the Universe)**

-

-

"Nudge? Have you seen Fang yet?" Angel asked Nudge that morning.

"No!" Nudge shrieked. "I looked everywhere! In his room, in the kitchen, the back yard, the bathroom, under the sinks, under the couch, in the couch-"

"Okay Nudge! We get it! You looked everywhere!" Iggy said, entering the room with Gazzy.

The Gassman grinned at Nudge. "In the bathroom? What if he was in there?" He laughed when Nudge smacked his arm.

"Did you guys find a note?" Angel asked them.

They shook their heads.

Suddenly Nudge gasped. "What if he was abducted by aliens? Or worse! What if he was abducted by Flyboys? Or worse! What if he was abducted by Erasers? Or worse! What if he was abducted by the school? OR WORSE-?!"

"NUDGE!" Iggy shouted. "SHUT UP!"

"IGGY!" Angel yelled. "Yelling won't solve anything!" They all turned around and looked at her, surprised that she was yelling back.

"We should send him a comment or an email through his blog and see if we can get ahold of him." Angel suggested, heading over to the computer.

"Max would have went looking for him." Iggy muttered, fallowing Angel.

_Who was-oh yeah, Max. _Angel thought. She couldn't picture Max anymore, she couldn't hear her voice either. She only remembered what the flock told her about Max...Which wasn't much. They hardly talked about her, and when they started to Fang would leave the room. She wondered why he always did that.

Angel clicked the link to his blog and started typing.

**Fang,**

**Where the hell did you go? We looked everywhere for you! It's almost like you disappeared. (Hi Fang! It's Nudge! I looked in the couch for you. AND YOU WEREN'T THERE!) You could have at least left a little note saying that you were going somewhere! (In the couch Fang! IN-THE-COUCH!) If this is a joke then I'll have Iggy kick your butt to next Wednesday! (I will do it, you know that right? -Iggy)**

**Did you go looking for Max or something? You should have told us. If you don't respond in a day then we're going to come looking for you. (We'll probably look anyway.- Gazzy)**

**-The Flock**

Angel sighed and pressed the send button. "Do you think he'll get it?" Angel asked hopefully.

The Gassman nodded. "Of course. He won't deny us. If he does then Iggy can kick his butt to next year."

Angel sighed and walked into her room. She turned on her I-POD in the little duct so that she could listen to it without head-phones. The song _Strawberry Fields Forever _started to play. That song always relaxed her...

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.  
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.  
Strawberry Fields forever._

No, there was nothing much to worry about...

_Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.  
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.  
It doesn't matter much to me._

Why should she care if he went looking for Max?

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm__ going to Strawberry Fields.  
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.  
Strawberry Fields forever._

Nothing, absolutly nothing...

_No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.  
That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.  
That is I think it's not too bad._

Not bad at all...

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.  
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.  
Strawberry Fields forever._

She wanted to walked through a strawberry feild...she would like that.

_Always no sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.  
I think, er No, I mean, er Yes but it's all wrong.  
That is I think I disagree._

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.  
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.  
Strawberry Fields forever.  
Strawberry Fields forever.  
Strawberry Fields forever._


	9. Chapter 8: Broken

**_(I'm trying to finish Brisingr...STILL! Give me a little while. CURSE THAT ADDICTING BOOK!!)_**

**_-_**

**Broken (Seether ft Amy Lee)**

-

-

I walked away from the computer after seeing no new posts. What scared me was that Nudge hadn't posted either. Where they captured by the School again? Did I need to go looking for them?

I heard a knock on the door and put down my coffee. "It's open!" I called.

To my surprise Allison stepped through the door.

"Are you ready for the movie?" She asked me. Oh, great, the movie. I had completely forgotten about our plans that day.

When I didn't answer Allison groaned. "You forgot again, didn't you?" I slowly nodded. "Damn it Jackie! You need to get a planner or something! Or get an alarm on your cell phone!"

"Sorry Al, I've just been busy." I said timidly.

"With what? Last time I saw you, you were on the couch watching the Notebook, and eating a box of chocolate chip cookies! How is that busy?" She questioned me.

"That was the weekend!" I insisted.

She gave me an 'oh, come on!' kind of look. "That was three days ago. Today's Saturday." Oh...yeah...right.

"I'm sorry! I've been losing track of time." I mumbled.

She sighed. "Fine, we'll go tomorrow, you better be ready." She said.

"Thanks!" I replied, relieved that she forgave me.

"I'm only doing this because I am such a better friend then you!" She insisted.

"Fine."

She smiled and left.

--

I rubbed my hands together before getting out of the car. It was twenty degrees outside and I didn't want to freeze to death.

It went the same as usual, I checked in, Joel talked to me a little bit, I did my little song, and Lyle dragged my up the stairs. But then something really unexpected happened.

I pulled my hair out of it's pony tail and took off my sweatshirt. I genitally pulled my necklace off, not wanting to damage all I had left of my real mom and sister. When I went to put it down, something caught my eye. I picked up the necklace again and read the little imprinted letters that never came to my knowledge of being there before. _La música te lleva casero. _I tried to think of what that meant. Música...that meant music and casero meant home...So Music something home? No, that would be it. So what did the other stuff mean? I tried to think of things and when Lyle came over to me I hardly noticed. Leads? Did the other stuff mean leads? And maybe you was the other word. _Music Leads You Home, _that sounded right.

**_(I don't speak Spanish!! I found it on a place where you do translations! HA HA!)_**

"Come on, I don't have all day." Lyle groaned.

"Hang on." I snapped. He glared at me.

Why would she put that on my necklace. What meaning did that have to me? My only home was my flock...My flock! The voice I had been hearing was my flock! But it couldn't be _all _of my flock. It had to be just one...Fang. It was Fang. We could connected through music! We were linked through music!

"Look, I'm only here for one thing, and I want that now! And you'll give it to me." Lyle commanded me.

"No."

"What do you me 'no'" He asked with fire in his eyes.

"I mean no. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of doing this every day because you tell me to. It's wrong and I won't do it! I'm putting my foot down." I said, walking proudly to the door.

"Oh no you don't!" He said grabbing me. "It's now. I can hurt you if you don't listen to me you know." He told me.

"Oh yeah? Well so can I!" I kicked him to the wall and the shelf fell on top of him.

I walked over and leaned down so that I could see his face. "I'm not doing this anymore. I'm in charge of my life now." I said sweetly. Lyle threw out his fist to punch me but I stopped him in mid-air.

"I'm more than this pretty face. There's more behind it." I twisted his wrist back and jumped out the window, feeling sheer pleasure from flying again.

I couldn't believe I was flying. It was like living the dream I'd had so many times. And my wings didn't snap in half! I felt so free and _happy. _I hadn't felt like this in ages. Boy, had I missed out or what?

I landed at my apartment, opened my window and _smiled. _I'd faked a smile for so long and to feel a real one spread across my face...It was amazing. Suddenly I heard his voice and I wanted to scream out that I could hear him.

_I wanted you to know  
That I love the way you laugh_

I smiled, because I knew that song. It was called _Broken. _

_I wanna hold you high  
And steal your pain  
Away  
_

It was gone. My pain was gone all away. I hoped it was gone for good.

_I'd keep your photograph  
Cause I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

I answered at the part I was supposed to, and we sang in unison

_Because I'm broken  
When I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right  
When you're gone away_

I didn't feel right when he was gone. I didn't feel right when any of them where gone.

_You've gone away  
You dont feel me here  
Anymore_

I continued with my part.

_The worst is over now  
And we can breathe again  
_

It was her again. She answered! He wasn't crazy!

_I wanna hold you high  
And steal my pain  
Away  
_

Had she figured it all out? Did she know that they were connected this way?

_There's so much left to learn  
And no __one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high  
And steal your pain_

It was gone once he heard her voice again. Everything seemed to go away.

_Because I'm broken  
When I'm open  
And I don't feel like  
__I am strong enough  
_

I had no idea he was so good. Why did he hide that stuff from me? He was absolutely amazing

_Cause I'm broken  
When I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right  
When your gone away_

He knew that neither of them felt right away from each other, even if she would never admit it to his face.

_Because I'm broken  
When I'm open  
And I don't feel like  
I am strong enough  
_

As long as he knew she was alive he would be fine.

_Because I'm broken  
When I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right  
when your gone away_

_You've gone away  
You don't feel me here  
Anymore_

I felt our connection slowly fade away and felt a strange emptiness. I didn't want to be alone right now. Not anymore.

The words of the song sunk into me as I thought. Every word of it was true.

I knew then that he was looking me.


	10. Chapter 9: Farther Away

**_(Lost-And-Forgotten-In-A-Dream, your request has been chosen!! Yay!)_**

**_-_**

**Farther Away (Evanescence)**

-

-

_I felt light headed with sheer happiness as he kissed me... Or maybe it was because I wasn't breathing. I took a breath in through my nose and my thoughts cleared up. I couldn't believe this! I had gone far past too far I went to like, majorly too far. But I couldn't help it. I was completely in love with him. _

_I rolled him over so that I was on top on him. It was the compete opposite of what I should have been doing. I should have kicked him off me and ran, that would be the smart thing. But I'm not that smart, so I had to deal. _

_"Fang..."_ _I murmured between a kiss._

_"Hm?" _

_"We shouldn't be doing this." I said._

_He pulled away from me. "Why not_?"

_I sighed. "Because, I still have to save the world, and having you and me, like this, it would be too hard." I said. "I think we need to hold off on us for a while. Just until the world is saved."_

_"Well how long will that be?" He asked._

_"I don't know."_

_"I'll wait forever." He whispered._

_"I really hope you mean that."_

_He smiled and kissed me again._

--

I woke up to my phone ringing. _Just ignore it Max and it'll stop ringing. _I thought. But it didn't stop, every ring was more demanding and _loud. _Groaning, I stood up and answered the phone.

"Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Hi! Jackie! It's me! You sound tired, were you up late last night?" Allison babbled.

I nodded, then knowing she couldn't see me I said, "Yeah."

"Oh, well, are you going to be ready when I come today?" She asked me.

"Yeah." I answered defiantly.

She was quiet for a minute. "Really?"

"Uh-huh."

She was quiet again. "Wow. This is a first."

"What?"

"You'll actually be ready?" She asked again.

"Yeah."

"Good! I'll see in a few hours!" She said hanging up.

I looked at the clock and it was ten forty. I guess I stayed out too late. Oops.

I thought about my dream I had last night. I could remember that night as clear as day. It was the night before I left, it was one of the best of my life. It was my last memory of him. And it only showed that clearly in a dream. During the day I could hardly picture his face.

I was ready within an hour, a good clean hour. And I didn't even think about my anti-depression pills. I could tell that life was going to get a whole lot better.

--

Allison came through the door and stared at me surprised.

"It's about time!" I said, walking out of the apartment.

She stared at me, her mouth gaping. "I-I came early. You're never ready early. You're hardly even ready when you're late. " She stuttered out.

I laughed. "Well, I'm early now. I thought you'd be happy."

"I-I am, it's just...Wow. Did you get a boyfriend last night?" She babbled.

"No, even better! Lyle is no more." I announced

She gasped. "What?! You killed him! I thought you where just joking about that! OH MY GOD!"

"NO! I'm no longer part of Lyle's life! We are not seeing each other ever again!"

She frowned. "Oh. Well that's good too!" I smiled. "No wonder you're so perky today."

"Hey," I said, pointing a finger at her. "I may be a lot of thing, but I am _never _perky."

--

I pulled into the bar's parking lot and tossed the keys on the counter.

"Hey Joel." I said, walking into the back.

"Wow. Your happy glow, it's blinding. Did you find a boyfriend?"

"Why does everyone assume that?" I laughed. "No, Lyle isn't part of my life anymore."

"Oh, that's great!" He congratulated me.

People came in at a decient time and I knew exactly what I was going to do that night, _Farther Away. _To me it really resembled my life at the moment.

_I took their smiles and I made them mine.  
I sold my soul just to hide the light.  
And now I see what I really am,  
A thief a whore, and a liar.  
_

I was a whore wasn't I? But that was all behind me. And I would never go back to it.

_I run to you,  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name,  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there,  
(Still you are)  
Farther away._That what it was like to my flock. No matter how close I got I could never be too close to them

_Im numb to you - numb and deaf and blind.  
You give me all but the reason why.  
I reach but I feel only air at night.  
Not you, not love, just nothing.  
_

I didn't feel love, I was completely alone in the world. And I was numb without them.

_I run to you,  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name,  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there,  
(Still you are)  
Farther away._I did run. I'd run as far as it would take to get to them.

_Try to forget you,  
But without you I feel nothing.  
Don't leave me here, by myself.  
I can't breathe.  
_

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't forget about them. I never would be able to.

_I run to you,  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name,  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there,  
(Still you are)  
Farther away._

I run to you,  
(And run away from this hell)  
Call out your name,  
(Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there,  
(Still you are)  
Farther away.  
Farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away.

I took a few steps off the stage and in the back of the room, I saw Lyle, glaring at me.

And boy did he look angry.


	11. Chapter 10: Falling

**_(Yes I actually wrote the song! I went through SO many titles for this song, so I just choose this one. It's not very good because I haven't written in such a long time. But I stayed up one night racking my brain for an idea for a song and right before I went to bed it came to me. So I stayed up a while writing it. It's kind of long so brace yourself. And it's kind of weird, but I always wrote weird songs. Tell me if you want me to put up more of my original songs!! Okay, enough of me talking, here's the fic now.)_**

**_-_**

**Falling (Me)**

-

-

I tried to find my way to the back as quickly as possible. I really didn't want an encounter with Lyle, and I didn't need one either. I took a quick glance at where he was standing and he was still glaring at me.

I rushed into the back and was caught by Joel.

"Good show Jackie!" He said to me. I nodded and looked over his shoulder to see if Lyle was standing there. To my surprise he was still in his dark corner, giving me the death glare.

"Thanks, do you mind if I leave early?" I asked desperately.

"Why-?" He looked in the direction I was looking and and said, "Oh. Go ahead."

I sighed. "Joel, you're a life saver." I sighed, changing out of my uniform.

"I know." I smiled at him and made my dash to the door.

Of course, I didn't make it. I was stopped by You-Know-Who.

"You made a mistake last night." He said in a dark tone, his brown hair hanging over his eyes, reminding me of Fang. But that was all that reminded me of him, besides, Fang was much better looking.

"No, I've made a mistake for the past year. I just broke from detention." I said, thrusting my arms from his grip.

I walked into the parking lot and unlocked the car door, and Lyle fallowed. I put the keys in the car and he turned me around.

"This is what happens if you disobey me." He said, with fire in his water-colored eyes.

I wasn't quite sure what happened after that. I tried to get in my car, and then there was a gun fire. After that there was screams and people calling, "Jackie!" Then everything went black.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Fang swore he felt her stop breathing.

His wings stopped for a minute and he fell probably fifty feet, then he came back to his senses. She...she stopped breathing? Was she...dead? No, Fang would know if she died, the world would be different for him. But he knew she was hurt, and _badly. _

-0-0-0-0-0-

_**(This is a day or two later FYI)**_

I opened my eyes to a bright white light and Allison squealing. I groaned, god that got so annoying.

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE AWAKE! JUDE! SHE'S AWAKE!" Allison screamed, and then she looked at me. "How are you? Are you okay? You've been out for like, ever! I thought I'd lost you!" She said as Jude walked in.

"What happened?" I asked, dazed by the bright lights.

"Well, I guess Lyle was pissed about what happened and he shot you." Allison told me. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." I said, trying to sit up, but Jude stopped me.

"You're going to start the bleeding again." He told me, genitally pressing me down. "You were shot just above your stomach, but below the really important stuff. So take it easy."

"Well why are you here?" I asked.

He smiled at me. "I was at Allison's house-"

"Ooh!" I interrupted him, taunting them.

"Yeah, I know, ooh, anyway, she got the call that you got shot and pulled me over here." He told me. I looked at him and Allison and grinned.

"Shut up! He should be grateful that he's here! I was going to take him shopping." Allison said, crossing her arms and thrusting her chin up.

"And I am." He admitted.

They left after a while and I was grateful to be alone. I took the buttons off my shirt and genitally took off the bandages to see the damage. Jude was going to kill me when he found out. I looked at the hole and I stopped breathing for a second. Why would they keep it open like that? Shouldn't they stitch it up or something?

There was a knock on my door and I quickly put the bandages back on and buttoned up the shirt. I winced at the pain of moving quickly. A blond nurse, probably around my age, walked in the room with a clip board.

"How are you?" She asked me. I just nodded to let her know I was okay.

She walked over to me and examined my bandages. She looked up at me.

"You moved around didn't you?" She asked, gingerly pressing down on the wound to stop the bleeding.

"A bit." I admitted.

She sighed and pressed down a little harder.

"You look familiar, have we met before?" I asked, looking at her face, trying to take in the image.

"Probably not." She said, "Does this hurt?" I shook my head.

Then I suddenly remembered who she was. That girl...from the school. She was one of the mutants that we set free from the Institution ten years ago. That's when we found Total. We offered to take her in but she stayed with everyone else.

"You have wings." I whispered to her.

She looked up at me, suddenly scared. "How- How do you know?" She breathed.

"Because I'm like you." I whispered back.

"Max? Maximum Ride?"

I smiled, happy that she recognized me.

She got up and closed the door. "What happened? You disappeared! I ran into your flock last year-"

"You found them? Are they okay?" I interrupted her.

"Yes they're fine. But where did you go?" She asked me.

I sighed. "I had to leave."

"By the way I'm Emma." She told me.

"And you know who I am."

--

**_(This got a little screwed up in the process of putting it up.)_**

_I am in _

_taking a step out _

_Watching the world fly in _

_slow motion_

_Where am I? _

_Standing there on the other side?_

_Once at a time_

_I'm standing in two places_

_All that I know is falling_

_All that I hope won't let a dream come true_

_There isn't more than a _

_happy never ending_

_Inside the other door_

_Waiting for you_

_It seems you'll never walk away_

_(Far away) I listen_

_waiting so long to hear you say_

_what you need to_

_Too long? _

_Just another girl?_

_She doesn't look like that to me_

_All that I know is falling_

_All that I hope won't let a dream come true_

_There isn't more than a _

_happy never-_

_Falling_

_Too far under_

_Drowning_

_In the fear that I have_

_lost you_

_It doesn't matter much_

_It doesn't matter much to me_

_I am in_

_taking a step out_

_Watching the world fly_

_in slow motion_

_Too long?_

_Just nothing?_

_She doesn't look like that to me_

_All that I know-_

_All that I want-_

_All that I need..._

The story of my life.


	12. Chapter 11: Better Than Me

**Better Than Me (Hinder)**

-

-

Fang walked out of the airport. He had managed to scavenge a ticket in coach, even though he would have preferred to fly himself. He knew that she was somewhere in England, he could feel her.

_Out of all the places I fly to I have to fly to London. _Fang thought to himself. She could be anywhere in England! For all he knew she could be at the other side of the country.

And the worst part is that he knew that she was hurt. If he ever found who did that to her they would wind up wishing they were never born. He would make sure they did.

It didn't take him that long to get to a park, and it being the middle of the night no one was there. Which made it a perfect time to fly.

Fang had no idea where the heck he was heading, but something was pulling him north. He would search all of England just to have her in his arms again, even if it was only for a day.

He took out is I-POD and started listening to it. _Better than me._ He liked flying while listening to music, it was kind of relaxing.

-0-0-0-0-0-

I wonder when I was going to get out of there. It seemed like I'd been there for, three days! Okay, I had been there for three days, but it felt abnormally long being stuck in the hospital. The only person that I really trusted in a room alone with me was Emma.

_I think you can do much better than me  
_

The music! The music was back! He was okay!

_After all the lies I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
_

I knew that song too. I like listening to it when I was thinking about them.

_I told myself I wouldn't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you  
_

I told myself the same thing, but they always came back to haunt me. I wish I didn't miss them, but I really didn't want to let go.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
_

I starting thinking about him, and all the things he did for me. I knew I couldn't ever repay him. Even spending the rest of my life at his side wouldn't be enough.

_And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

He was wrong. He deserved me more then anything. I just wasn't good enough for him.

_While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for_

I remembered his picture that was on one of my shelves at home. God, I loved that picture so much.

_If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room  
_

I realized then how much I must have hurt him. I left without thinking about how it would affect the flock. I probably tore them apart. Maybe that's why there was only one of them flying on that news report.

_I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you  
_

The feeling of his skin suddenly came to me. Like when he was holding my hand that night on the dock, or when he would hug me.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes_

I wished that things would be the same as it was ten years ago if we ever saw each other again. I would probably die if they all hated me.

_And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
_

I was the one that ended it. The reason why all of our lives were screwed up was because I left and had no intention on ever coming back.

_And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end_

But we both knew it wasn't.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
_

The innocence? I never had any innocence to me. I was always just a heartless bitch. I've known that from the beginning

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
_

I missed him too much for words to describe.

_(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)_

Something had to change about this.


	13. Chapter 12: Forgiven

**Now time for some author's notes, AND question answering!**

**InnerPsycho- Who's Guardian Angel by? I need to know this before posting it!! PLEASE TELL ME! Don't keep it a secert from your favorite Tottaly-Yatal!**

**MaXiNexSpazxOfxThExWoRlD- That depends, which epiphany are you talking about? If it's the one where she realized that Fang was the voice she was hearing then no, that was not supposed to be an epiphany. She was just happy to hear him again. And if that wasn't the one I was thinking of then tell me what it was!**

**PeruvainChick- What? I wasn't lazy! What are you talking about? You're making me very confused.**

**Sorry it's been a while since I have posted, I've had another writers block for ALL of my stories, especially "Two Lives" I'm in the middle of a writers CRISIS with that story. Any suggestions?**

**Okay, now it's time for the fic!**

**--**

**Forgiven (Within Temptation)**

-

-

Healing fast is a great advantage if you really want to get out of the hospital and fast.

"You can not have healed yet." Jude said in disbelief.

"I have too! Do you need me to prove it to you?" I said, trying to stand up, but he stopped me...again...

"It's true," Emma said, entering the room, "She has made a remarkably fast recovery."

"No one heals that fast!" Jude said, making me laugh.

"I'm with Jude on this one," Allison started, staring at the scar where my wound was. "You _can not_ have healed that fast. You've only been here three days!" She shook her head, he light brown hair bouncing.

"Maybe I've been blessed." I murmured. _Or cursed._

_"_Either way, she's being released today, and unless something happens to her you're not bringing her back here.

"Did the doctor really say that?" Jude questioned.

"No, I did. And I'll make sure you don't bring her back unless she's hurt or sick again." Emma said.

_"Thank you."_ I mouthed to her. She smiled at me.

--

I was actually released that day, just as she said. All I had to do was fill out some paper work, and I was done. I thought they would examine me again until they found something wrong with my body and had to do surgery, but they didn't. They just checked me out for a few minutes then let me go. It was that simple! Not even joking!

I was truthfully really happy to be home again. I had hated being locked up in a room that I could hardly move in. Sure, my apartment wasn't really that much, but it was home now, and it would be until I was permitted to see my flock again.

I haven't mentioned that before have I? I never really told anyone why I left, but it wasn't anything like I just woke up one morning and said, "Oh, I'm going to ruin my life today and leave my flock." No, it was nothing like that.

Actually, I was forced to leave the flock. They were going to be harmed if I didn't. The voice thought that they were holding me down from saving the world, and after I let I had never heard from him again. He told me that the flock was going to be hurt if I didn't leave them soon. I didn't know if it meant that it was going to hurt them, or that they were going to get hurt in general. Either way, I never wanted to hurt them.

_What? Feeling a little remorse Voice? _I had thought so many times that I couldn't even count it any more. But still, I never heard from it ever again.

"No, you are _not _going to work today!" Allison said as she walked in seeing me getting my stuff.

"Yes I am Al, I'm fine." I argued.

"You are not! You just got out of the hospital! Joel should understand that you're not there! He was the one that call the ambulance to pick you up! He saw Lyle shoot you!"

Then something clicked in my brain that should have clicked a long time ago.

"Allison? Where is Lyle?" I asked slowly. She suddenly tensed, and my breathing kicked up a notch.

"Allison, please tell me he's in jail." I pleaded, shaking.

She stayed silent.

"Oh God...Oh God..." I murmured, falling into a chair.

"The police didn't get there fast enough to catch him." She whispered, looking down.

I couldn't believe it, after what he did to me...after he almost turned me into a slut...after _shooting _me, he still got away.

"That's why you should go to work today." She said even quieter.

I shook my head, "No, I'm going." I muttered, standing up.

"Are you crazy?! Have you completely lost it?!" She shreiked, trying to block me from the door. Of course she didn't succeed, I was way stronger then her.

"Maybe." I said, shutting the car door and driving off.

If he wanted to kill me, then he would have to walk up to me and shoot me in my forehead, but I was _not _going to take this.

--

"Jackie! Surprise, surprise! What are you doing here?" Joel greeted me just as he said, surprised, surprised.

"I'm here to work, why else would I be here?"

"You should be out of the hospital for another two days! And then you shouldn't be coming in for at least a week! Who completely heals in one day?" He babbled, making me laugh. Allison has finally taken her toll on him.

"I do." I answered simply.

It wasn't long before I was at one of my favorite places to be, behind the piano. I put the music on it's little stand and began to play.

-0-0-0-0-0-

_Couldn't save you from the start  
_

Fang could feel her pull, and it was definitely drawing him north. Her voice was louder then it had been when he was in London, telling him that he was getting closer.

_Love you so it hurts my soul  
_

She loved him, it was all clear to him now.

_Can you forgive me for trying again  
Your silence makes me hold my breath  
Time has passed you by_

Time has passed them both. Very, very slowly.

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world  
_

He tried to shield her from the world. He tried to keep her safe in his arms, but then he lost her. How could he have allowed himself to do that?

_Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own  
Here I am left in silence_

The silence was all he knew.

_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
_

He would always be hers. Fang would give anything to be with her. His heart was hers.

_I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven_

He would forgive her for everything, just as long as she come back to them.

_I watched the clouds drifting away  
Still the sun can't warm my face  
I know it was destined to go wrong  
_

Fang knew that she would never let them be together. She would always find something wrong about them being together.

_You were looking for the great escape  
To chase your demons away_

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own  
_

What freedom? They were locked in like this forever.

_And here I am left in silence_

_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
_

Did she really have to go? She could have at least told them. Or him.

_All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven_

_I've been so lost since you've gone  
Why not me before you?  
Why did fate deceive me?  
_

Life was cruel, it was unfair, and you could get nothing that you truly wanted. Even if your heart needed it to survive.

_Everything turned out so wrong  
Why did you leave me in silence?_

Why did she leave him? It messed his life up forever. He would never be the same.

_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven _

Everything that she did, everything she didn't do, was forgiven. She would always be forgiven. He would not let something like a little grude to separate them. He would do anything to have her in his arms again.


	14. Chapter 13: Good Enough

**_(Sorry I haven't posted in FOREVER! I had nine week exams all week. Ew...)_**

**_(I feel like disclaiming, so I will. I don't own any of the Maximum Ride characters, HOW EVER I do own Allison, Joel, Jude, Lyle and I kind of own Emma, KIND OF. If you want to use them then you must ask me first!!)_**

**_(A part in this is kind of like the video for this song, so don't judge me!!)_**

-

**Good Enough (Evanescence)**

-

-

"Jude stop it." I complained, struggling out of his grip.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked me.

I sighed. "I was okay last week I'm okay this week, I' m going to be okay for a long time Jude."

Allison shook her head. "I still don't understand why you've healed so quickly." She said, looking at where I got shot.

"I'm fine." I said, pulling my shirt back over my scar.

They looked at me in disbelief still.

"Can you go now? It's late and I want to go to sleep." I told them, drumming my fingers on the desk.

Allison sighed. "Okay, but if you need anything, or you get hurt, or Lyle finds you-" Jude was pulling her out the door while she was saying this, "or you just want to talk, call me!" When she said call me she closed the door and left.

_Finally! Time to myself!_ I thought, sitting down on the couch. I looked out the window. The night sky looked so tempting to me. I just wanted to jump out the window, unfurl my wings, and launch myself into the sky. It looked so inviting, but I knew it wasn't that simple.

I had to go on the roof.

I got up and walked down the narrow hallway to the stairs that led to the roof. By the time I got to them I was running up the stairs.

I burst through the door and looked around. I was thankful that no one was out there. I just needed to fly, just once, then I could go back to being Jackie for good and forget about my wings. Even though I knew I couldn't, I would try.

I pulled off my jacket and slipped my wings through my tank top. I stretched them before I actually flew because I knew I was going to hurt in the morning. I looked around again, just to make sure no one was watching, and jumped off the building.

I almost cried out in excitement. It was amazing! I couldn't believe how stupid I was not flying! I looked out the clouds, and a rumble of thunder gave me a sign that it was ready to rain, weather I was flying or not.

I looked back at my apartment and it was only a little speck. I couldn't believe how fast I had managed to fly in five minutes. I almost jumped out of the sky when another drum of thunder roared. _Maybe I should land... _I thought, looking for a little clearing.

To my surprise, I found one quickly. I landed right before it started raining.

There was a little abandoned shack near the clearing. It's windows were boarded up, and there was holes in the walls, a few of the gaps looked like someone had tried to tear it down, and then left it. I didn't care, though, only one thought came to my mind, _dry._

The inside of it looked like it had been burned, and in the middle of a room sat a piano. I walked up to it and pressed down on one of the keys. It was still in tune. And this house had been abandoned what, five, ten years ago? I ran my fingers up and down the keys lightly and all of them were in tune. Was this a magical piano that stayed in tune forever? If it was then it was my kind of piano.

I sat down at the bench and looked up at the sky, most of the roof was missing. The rain was just a drizzle, but it sounded so loud in all of the silence.

Maybe it was time to brake that silence.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Fang watched the rain fall from the sky. He barely felt it on his skin.

_Under your spell again.  
I can't say no to you.  
_

Fang stood up. He could hear her loud and clear. But it wasn't in his mind, it was out loud. _And it was close._

_Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.  
I can't say no to you._

It was just east of him, he knew it. Fang forgot for a moment that he could fly, he just started to run to her.

_Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.  
_

She'd tortured him all these ten years, and now the torturing was about to end.

_Now i can't let go of this dream.  
I can't breathe but i feel..._

_Good enough,  
I feel good enough for you._

Her voice grew louder and louder with every step he took and his heart beat faster.

_Drink up sweet decadence.  
I can't say no to you,  
And i've completely lost myself, and i don't mind.  
I can't say no to you._

Fang saw a clearing and burst through the trees. He looked around and saw no sign of her, but the music was much, much louder.

_Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely.  
Now i can't let go of this dream.  
Can't believe that i feel..._

He turned and saw an old shed, and he knew that was where they music was coming from.

_Good enough,  
I feel good enough.  
It's been such a long time coming, but i feel good._

Fang found the opening and ran to it, and there she was, playing the piano, drenched in the rain, her voice sounding like honey. She didn't see him though, her eyes were closed. She didn't even have any music with her.

_And i'm still waiting for the rain to fall.  
Pour real life down on me.  
'cause i can't hold on to anything this good enough._

He wasn't sure if her hair was still blond, it looked brown when it was wet. But other then that she looked perfect, like she always had to him. An angel with a doomed fate.

_Am i good enough for you to love me too?_

_So take care what you ask of me,  
__'cause i can't say no._

She turned her head and looked at him.

_-0-0-0-0-0-_

I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky. The rain fell on my face like little droplets. I stroked one of the keys and looked to my side. And he was there, standing there. Fang. _My Fang. _

I stood up and looked at him. He looked almost exactly the same. He was wearing black, the usual, he might have been a little taller though, his hair looked wind blown from running, but what was he running from.

We stared at each other for ages, and I didn't believe this. It was not real. Nothing was this good.

Fang ran over to me and picked me up in his arms and kissed me. I held his face in my hands, I wanted this moment to last, it needed to last forever. It was unreal. It felt like a dream, a dream that I had so many times that it felt real. I didn't want to let go, but I knew we needed to breathe.

He was the one who pulled away, the opposite of what it usually was.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

--

**_(I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!! IT VERY WELL COULD BE!! Please tell me if you think that I should write more and I will. JUST TELL ME PLEASE!! DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET!!)_**


	15. Chapter 14: Pieces

**_(Your wish is my command! I WILL CONTINUE FOR YOU PEOPLE!!)_**

**_(InnerPysco, I'm going to put that song in soon! HOLD YOUR BREATH!! Wait, that might not be a good idea...)_**

**_(AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!)  
_**

-

**Pieces (Red)  
**

-

-

I woke up with someone's arms wrapped around me. I started to panic, but then remembered. _Oh yeah, Fang. _

We had made it to my apartment without being detected. My cell phone rang a few time, it being Allison, I threw it against the wall. When you haven't seen someone that you loved in ten years and was desperate to know what had been going on in their life, you would have done the same thing.

"Your phone survived being thrown into the wall." Fang told me. I groaned and he just laughed at me.

"That cell phone is a mutant, I swear." I mumbled. "That phone has been dropped in water, went through a trip in the drying machine, honestly Fang, I could keep going."

"Wow, maybe it is a mutant." He said looking at it. I smiled and closed my eyes again.

-

A few hours later I woke up again, surprised I was able to fall back asleep. When I looked at the clock it was eleven. Hey, I had woken up two hours earlier then yesterday.

I got up and walked into the next room and saw Fang on the computer. Shocking. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and looked at what he was doing. There was a message from the flock he was looking at.

----

**_Fang,_**

**_Where the hell did you go? We looked everywhere for you! It's almost like you disappeared. (Hi Fang! It's Nudge! I looked in the couch for you. AND YOU WEREN'T THERE!) You could have at least left a little note saying that you were going somewhere! (In the couch Fang! IN-THE-COUCH!) If this is a joke then I'll have Iggy kick your butt to next Wednesday! (I will do it, you know that right? -Iggy)_**

**_Did you go looking for Max or something? You should have told us. If you don't respond in a day then we're going to come looking for you. (We'll probably look anyway.- Gazzy)_**

**_-The Flock_**

**_----_**

I looked at Fang. "You left the flock alone?" I squeaked.

He nodded. "I needed to find you, and I know that they would be safe, so I left to find you." He told me. Aw! I don't know why, but that felt really sweet to me.

"Do...they remember me at all?" I asked hesitantly.

"Iggy and Nudge do. Gazzy claims that he remembers you. And Angel..." Fang didn't finish the sentence, he just looked up at me. "She'll remember you when she see's you again." Fang said, obviously reading my face. I couldn't believe that after all these years he still could read me like an open book.

When I leaned in to kiss him the door swung open. Fang instictly pulled me into his arms to protect me.

"ALLISON!" I screamed jumping out of Fang's arms when I saw it was her.

"OH JACKIE THANK GOD! JUDE! SHE'S OKAY!" Allison hollered down to Jude, hugging me.

"Told you!" I heard Jude's voice call up to her.

"Shut up!" She squeezed me tighter.

"What was that for?" I asked, still pissed and surprised that she broke off my door. "And you're paying for that."

"What was that for? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! Jackie! I thought that something bad happened to you!" She cried, glaring at Fang.

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

She laughed sarcastically at that question. "You didn't answer my calls! No answer to text messages, nothing! I thought that Lyle found your apartment and-"

"Allison, I'm fine. I just ran into one of my old friends." I told her when Jude finally walked into sight.

She looked around me at Fang. "Oh, he doesn't look old." She said frowning.

I laughed weakly. "No, he's a friend that I knew a long time ago."

"Oh, well that makes more since." She said, cocking her head to the side.

"I'm Nick." He said, standing up, using a perfect British voice. Okay, I had to say, even Fang's British voice was hot.

**_(HA! My brother tried to say 'I'm Nick' in a Brittish vocie!! HA HA!! He was like 'Ello mate, I'm Nick!' HA!)_**

"Nick..." She said, grabbing his hand to shake it.

"I'm sure you're acquainted with Allison by now." I said referring to the breaking down of the door.

"I get dibs on him." She muttered to me.

"He's already living here." I told her.

She gasped, "NO FAIR! I CALLED DIBS!!"

Jude raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "You better be talking about me." He said to her.

She looked at him a little scared and said, "Oh, of course we are!" I laughed.

--

After a little while they finally left. And truthfully, I was grateful.

"Jackie? You didn't want to keep Max?" Fang asked me.

I shrugged. "I didn't want it to be obvious that I was Max. You could have found me a lot easier." I answered.

"Why did you leave?" He asked quietly.

I tensed for a second and looked at him. "The Voice told me to." I whispered, looking at my feet.

"Right, since when do you listen to the Vocie?" He asked.

I didn't answer at first, I wasn't sure if I should tell him. I had become much more emotional in the past ten years and didn't want to have a break down right in front of him.

"I didn't want to." I answered quietly, feeling tears form in my eyes. Man, I _really_ didn't want to break down right now. "It told me that you guys were holding me back, and that I could be done saving the world by then. It said that if I didn't leave then you guys were going to get hurt. I didn't know what I would do if the flock or you go hurt. I was scared."

I managed to say all of that without bursting into tears, but once I was done they all spilled over. _Everything _spilled over.

Fang walked over to me and took me in his arms. It reminded me of ten years ago at that beach when I tried to take the chip out of my arm. How I broke down in front of all of them. But I didn't care as much as I used to.

Fang started to hum the tune of a song to me. I knew that song. It was _Pieces _by the band Red. Iggy made it our song when he was teasing us one day. Of course, if you couldn't guess, he earned himself a punch.

Then he sang the song to me.

_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole

I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole...

I tried so hard! So hard!  
I tried so hard!

Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole  
So you can make me whole


	16. Chapter 15: My Heart

**_(SORRY!! I GOT GROUNDED!! I'm going to post on all of my stories ASAP)_**

**_(And I started writing a book! It's called The Waiting and it's NOT a fanfiction! If you want me to send you the chapters then I will!! JUST DON'T STEAL IT FROM ME!! I'll put a little copywrite thing!)_**

-

**My Heart (Paramore)  
**

-

-

I had to admit, life with Fang here was a heck of a lot better then being alone. Even though he had only been here for a few days my depression was one hundred percent gone. I hadn't even used the pills in a few days. It felt really good.

Allison had layed off the calls for the past days, but when she did call she asked what I "did" that day. And I always told her the same thing, "Nothing". Then she'd laugh and tell me that I had to be doing something. Honestly, I bet that friend were made just to annoy people and be nosy. If not then it was just Allison and Nudge. I swear those girls could be best friends if they ever met. But hey, you had to love them.

Fang still didn't know a thing about Lyle, or a thing about me getting shot, so basically...He knew nothing. I had been distracting him by asking him questions about the flock, what they looked like and stuff. I knew soon that he was going to find out, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep it from him. I didn't like it, but I wanted him to know a little more about the new me...Jackie.

"I've told you everything, now it's my turn." He said to me.

Hmm...what was I going to start with? Lyle? Ha! No.

"Well...I work in a bar, I'm a waitress/singer...and..." I was already out of stuff? No way! I could not be out of stuff! OH YEAH! Joel! I like Joel. He's a good guy.

"When I first came here I went to the bar before it was the night hours and I got something to eat. That's where I met Joel..."

"Who's Joel?" He asked me. He didn't look pleased that I mentioned a guy.

"He's my boss." I told him. "Anyway, he asked where my parents were and I told him that I didn't have any. Then he asked where I was staying and I shrugged. He told me that he could provide a room for me in his house for a while, and me, having not slept for days, agreed."

"How old is he?" Fang asked me next.

I sighed. "He was twenty at the time."

"You shared a room with a twenty year old?"

"No! I shared a house for four years. He was like an older brother. When I turned eighteen I left. I had a full-time job at the bar. Then I got very depressed. Then I took anti-depressants...And now you're here!" I said. Well, that was _basically _it. I wasn't lying about anything, that was what I wanted!

"You're not telling me something." He said. Damn it! Why did he have to know me so well?

"I told you everything." I insisted.

He raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?" He asked next.

"What do you mean?"

"What is do bad that you aren't telling me?"

I stayed quiet. _Tell him...Don't tell him... _I thought to myself over and over again. _Tell him._

"Lyle." I whispered.

He looked at me, unsure of what I meant by 'Lyle'.

"Who's Lyle? Was a he a...boyfriend?" Fang asked next slowly.

"Ew! No! Oh god no! Fang, don't make me throw up!"

"Who was he then."

I was quiet...How was I going to word this without sending Fang haywire?

"He was a guy that tried to get me to do...'it' every night." I said quickly.

"By 'it' you don't mean..." I nodded before he could finish.

"What?!"

"Fang, don't worry, I got out of it a week or two ago!" I tried to reassure him.

"'A week or two ago'? How long have you been doing it with him? Are you trying to be a slut? What, how did he pay you? Five bucks and hour?"

"FANG!" I cried. "You really think I would do that? Well, I didn't want to! He dragged me up the stairs every night! I didn't want to Fang, I really didn't! We never really _did anything_! I always knocked him out before we could do it!" I didn't tell him how long we had been doing it. He wouldn't like the numbers.

"Max, I-" My cell phone rang, interrupting him.

"Hello?" I answered

"Hey Jackie, how's it going? You've been out for a few days." Joel's familiar voice said.

"Oh, sorry, some things came up. I'll be in today." I told Joel.

"Good, it's been pretty hectic the past few days." He told me.

"I'll be there soon." I hung up.

I glared at Fang, "I'm going to work." I mumbled.

"Max-" I didn't let him finish, I just slammed the door behind me.

---

By the time I got to work I felt really bad about yelling at Fang. And I knew what to do to tell him how much I loved him.

I got up on the stage and got ready to sing, _My Heart _by Paramore.

-0-0-0-0-

_I am finding out that maybe I was wrong  
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone_  
_Stay with me, this is what I need, please?_

_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you  
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?_

_I am nothing now and it's been so long  
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope_

_This time I will be listening._

_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you  
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
My heart is yours_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
My heart is yours  
(My heart, it beats for you)_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)  
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)  
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)_

_(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours  
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours  
(Please don't go, please don't fade away)  
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is..._

I hoped he understood now.


	17. Chapter 18: Your Guardian Angel

_**(InnerPsyco I'M DOING THE SONG :D!!!)**_

**_-_**

**Guardian Angel (Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)  
**

-

-

The drive home was long and treacherous. Mostly because I was alone and I wanted to be in his arms at this very moment. And I think I spotted Lyle that night making me extremely paranoid that he could be following me.

I looked over my shoulder again and wished that I could get there faster without getting a speeding ticket of me driving at one hundred-seven miles per hour. That would not look good on my record. I sped up a little bit after seeing a car behind me, but once I took a turn it kept going.

_Calm down Max._

I slammed on my breaks before hitting something. What was that? Did I just hear what I thought I heard?

_It's been a while Max._

_Voice?_

_I'm glad you remember who I am._

I sat there for a minute in shock. The voice was back? This could not be happening. The voice was _not _back!

_Like it or not Maximum, I'm here, and I will be here for a long time unless you save the world. _

Great! More voodoo doll crap!

I looked at the little gas monitor or what ever the real term was. It told me that the tank was almost empty. _How much more perfect can my night get? _I thought bitterly.

I drove quickly as I could to a gas station. Then a song started to play, a song, surprisingly, I didn't know.

_When I see your smile, _

He did have an amazing smile, didn't he?

_Tears roll down my face.  
I can't replace.  
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.  
And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one._

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

No, I wouldn't let him fall. I wanted to keep him up, not bring him down.

_It's okay,  
It's okay,  
It's okay_

_Seasons are changing,  
And waves are crashing,  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,  
I can show you I'll be the one._

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my  
My true love, my whole heart.

I did love him. He was everything that kept me up. I had been so disoriented before, and now I was...I don't know...Whole.

_Please don't throw that away.  
'Cause I'm here... for you!  
Please don't walk away and,  
Please tell me you'll stay!_I hoped he would stay, after our little fight. I didn't want to be without him.

_Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
Stay!  
Whoa-oh!_

Use me as you will!  
Pull my strings just for a thrill!  
And I know I'll be okay,  
Though my skies are turning grey! (grey! grey! )

I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

By the end of the song I was crying, which was a very un-Max-like thing for me to do, but a very Jakie-like thing. Which life was I going to keep? Jackie, where I'm a normal person, or Max, where I'm a mutant and can be with the love of my life?

Before I could answer my own question, the door swung open. And who could it be? Not Fang, no, that would be all to convenient. No, it was Lyle. And I'm not joking, I was litterally staring at my worst enemy.

"It's been a while Jackie. Or should I say, Max?"

**_(OOOOOH DRAMA!!!)_**


	18. Chapter 19: Somewhere

_**(Sorry it's been so long!! Happy belated Christmas!!)**_

**_-_**

**Somewhere (Within Temptation)  
**

-

-

He pulled me out of the car and knocked me to the ground. He walked over to me and I tripped him. Lyle growled and pulled something out of his pocket. Before I could react he pinned me to the ground and tazered me.

0-0-0-0-0

Fang felt her pain and shot up. It was electric almost, kind of felt like something that the School would do them. The School...Did the School find her or something? No, they better not have.

He ran over to the open window and jumped out of it, snapping his wings open.

0-0-0-0-0

When he pulled the tazer away from my side I didn't feel like I could move. Lyle picked me up and threw me into the back of the car. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? Didn't they see what was happening? A guy was kidnapping me, shouldn't someone be calling the cops or something?

I heard the ignition start up and began to panic. Fang. Fang, Fang, Fang! I knew what to do suddenly when his name entered my mind. I jogged my mind for a song and found one in seconds. I started to sing quietly.

_Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign.  
Instead there is only silence,  
Can't you hear my screams?  
Never stop hoping,  
Need to know where you are,  
But one thing is for sure,  
You're always in my heart._

_I'll find you somewhere.  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day.  
I just need to know whatever it's happened,  
The truth will free my soul._

_Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home.  
I want to embrace you and never let you go.  
Almost hope you're in heaven so no one can hurt your soul.  
Living in agony cause I just do not know  
Where you are._

_I'll find you somewhere.  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day.  
I just need to know whatever it's happened,  
The truth will free my soul._

_Wherever you are, I won't stop searching.  
Whatever it takes, I need to know._

_I'll find you somewhere.  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day.  
I just need to know whatever it's happened,  
The truth will free my soul._

0-0-0-0-0-0

The words she sang pulled him closer to her. He wasn't exactly sure where it was leading him too, but he would not lose her track. He would not let whoever hurt her get away with it. He would have to die first.

It took him a while to realize that he was following a car...But not just any car..._Her _car. He would reconize it anywhere. Once they pulled away from the city he shot down and landed on top of the car.

0-0-0-0-0-0

There was a loud thump, and Lyle and I looked up at the same time. Fang's face came into veiw.

"Fang! What the hell are you doing?!" I hissed through my teeth.

"What does it look like?" He answered. "Cover your head."

I didn't know what he ment by that, but I obayed. I heard glass break and realized that he was breaking through the window. Lyle was swerving trying to get him off of the car. I saw Lyle pull out a little hand gun.

"FANG!" I cried, but my little warning cry didn't seem to work. Fang turned his head to Lyle right as he shot the gun.

"Bye bye birdy." Lyle said darkly.

"NO!" I cried as Fang fell from out of sight.

Lyle pulled over the car and got out. He pulled me out of the car and threw me down to the ground. I shot up and tried to attack him, but he slipped out of the way before I could touch him. How was he so fast now?

Again I tried to attack him, but he pointed the gun at Fang and stopped right where I was.

"You know him?" He asked me. I looked at Fang to him, and back to Fang. I wasn't sure how I should answer. I nodded slowly though, even though he could use it against me.

Lyle looked at him. "I see he's like you. Come to think of it...I've been searching for him as well."

I looked at Lyle now. "What? You've been searching for us? Why?" I asked confused. Was he like my on personal stalker?

He permitted himself a smile. "ITEX informed me with your wereabouts."

"What?"

He laughed. "And I thought that you were smarter then that. I work for ITEX."

I sat there in shock. _He what?!_ I thought to myself. How could I have not seen this coming! It was right in front of my face all this time and I did not see it coming. Wow, maybe I wasn't as smart as everyone thought I was. Maybe Fang was actually the smart one.

Lyle walked over to Fang's body and nudged it with his shoe. "Don't touch him!" I shouted, rushing over to Fang.

He looked at us. "Fine. You both are coming with me."


	19. Author's Way Overdue Note

**Author's Note**

Um...Hi. It's been a while, hm? Well, to keep this short and frank, I would like to break something to you all. I've been getting reviews over the course of a few months asking me if I was going to finish the story and stuff like that. To tell you all the truth, I don't plan to continue the story because I either don't remember what I had planned, don't like the story, don't have the drive to finish it, or find the story so horrible that I better just leave it alone. I've developed a lot as a writer and just think that the stories could be so much better. So, that's all. I don't know how many people will even see this, considering it's been so damn long they've probably gotten tired of waiting for something new.

Anyway, thanks for your support, and who knows? Maybe I'll make something new and actually finish it. XP

-Totally Yatal


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